Strawberry letter

As you may well know, I listen to Steve Harvey through my working day. They have a section called “Strawberry letter” where listeners write in with problems and get advice from the team. Here is a letter that some sent in, I am devastated on her behalf. Please read the letter below. It reminds us of the need to be SAFE and not to take risk with our lives. To know and I am mean TRULY know the person you are calling boyfriend, “friend”, partner - whatever BEFORE we get intimate physically AND emotionally.

Here’s the thing, truly knowing someone takes TIME! There is no substitute for time! of course this is not fail-safe but the likelihood of getting misled and remaining misled reduces the longer WE know someone. We females tend to get caught up in the words not the ACTIONS. The flash of a chance at “happiness” or at having a partner and we forget to stop and remember! We stop listening to ourselves, to our friends and family, even when there are clear signs that something is not right. We give people first, second, third chances and cause ourselves undue pain in the process. HIV is real and we must not let it be the price we pay for “love” and "happiness" or just to be validated.

Date: 09/16/2008Subject: My Prince Charming Turned Out to Be a Devil with HornsI am a 39 yr old single mother of two girls 9 and 14. I am educated, beautiful and successful and have a good job. I met my prince charming online, went on few dates. In my life I have had mishaps when it comes to men. This guy was handsome, well educated and he is everywoman's dream. I was so excited to finally meet somebody like him, after meeting a couple of free louders. He was my dream come true. My excitement about my prince charming ended when I landed in his bed of hell. My first concern, was his unwillingness to use protection, and I insisted that since we dont know each other that long, that was the safest thing to do. I asked him about his status and he said he was clean, he has no diseases and he was going to show me, his status. I was concerned when i realised that he had secretely removed the protection during the encounter, and he told me that he does not like using them. After this day, I called and told him that i needed to see his hiv status and he said "yea I will send it to you". As i was waiting impatiently I noticed that he was a bit different. I called him and told him strongly but politely that I needed to know his status. That was the last day i ever heard from him. He stopped calling me, he never answered my calls nor return them. I called him at work and he told me not to bother him anymore, I must leave him alone. 6 months later I tested positive for hiv. What do i do? Do I sue him? Do i let him do this to other women? Should I sit and accept it as my fate? I am devastated. I look at my girls and cry cause i have betrayed them, I put myself in a compromising situation. What do i tell them? Steve i know i failed to follow your rule of thumb, but still I need your advice. Thnx, Devastated and betrayed