Tuesday, 3 February 2009

For God's Sake Please Get Off the Beaten Track!

This is my first blog of the New Year. I can't say it is because I have been overly busy, I've just been a little preoccupied and lacking in focus and so I have been coasting in a sea of nothingness. This is not a place I particularly like but every once in a while I find myself in this space. My visual for this is a small sail boat in the middle of wide still waters going in no particular direction slowly. I wanted to include an image of this but I can't find a good visual that captures its solitude and the pointlessness I feel when I am coasting, which is another prod to myself that I must get an easel and paints. So anyway I have been coasting, a little perturbed by family events but mainly letting the days slip by with little note. Today however I have been stopped in my tracks by a few inches of snow that has brought London to a stand still...and so I stand still and I am able to write this.

I'll say this though, with all the coasting I've been doing I have actually gotten some sort of clarity, so maybe this is the whole point of coasting - to be still long enough to receive your directives, to LISTEN and hear what your next mission will be. This New Year my directives are clear, so clear. There are places I feel called to go internally and externally, things to release things, things to really focus on. I’ll have to do this one step at a time because I get the feeling that this journey will take me further than I should allow myself to imagine - that is if I can work up the courage to get off the beat track!

So that is the title of this year "Getting off the beat track”. I am a Sagittarius and the Sagittarius is often associated with the Centaur - a race of creatures composed of part human and part horse. I have for so long I embraced the part of me that is man because that is what I have been taught to do and this often involves me ignoring my deeper instincts and putting to the side the part of me that is animal. However more and more it is becoming increasingly hard to ignore that I am a free spirit that needs to see other sides of this world. To satisfy an intense curiousity about this thing we call life that most people simply don't have, to honour this burning need to discover, this need to excavate. For most having a good job, car and money enough to go to the must-go-to bar or clubs or indeed vacation and to have a partner is enough. The thing is, I know all of those things are reasonable desires – so what more is my spirit searching for? That IS the question and it is a little terrifying but what's life for if not for living, breathing, seeing, exploring and then passing having known that you looked at life straight in the eye, scratched the surface and did your bit to unsettle the status quo (even if it was just a little).



To do all of this I need major back up and so I am reading, listening, watching all things that will support my instincts, that will give me courage and remind me that there are people like me out there. People on a different kind of journey, that there are lands and places far away from where I am now and that it is possible to dream a bigger dream and make it come true. Yes I can! And I will!

I am Reading: President Obama's ( I love saying that, I'll say it again PRESIDENT OBAMA's) The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream
To remind me that greatness often comes from where you expect it least and that that instinct in your pit, that knowing in your core should be paid attention to and that the voice in your heart is what is to be followed not the voices of others.




and

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle

To further the growth.



I am Listening to: James Taylor and Gordon Lightfoot because they remind me of open fields and of wild horses and travel and simplicity.


Fire And Rain - James Taylor

I am Watching: The Horse Whisperer because when I watched this film I simply couldn't get the wide expanse and beauty of open fields out of my mind and because if deals with the simplicity and hardship of country living against the complication yet easy of city life. And because after watching it I understood that I could no longer ignore that part of me that asks is this it? when I wake up at 7:30, commute and spend a good 7/8 hours of my life each day on someone else vision while ignoring mine and then coming home or going for drinks and then bed. Is this it? This film reminds me that it isn't, there are alternatives.



and


Their Eyes Were Watching God:
For my very own tea Cake!

Here are snippets from the film based on a brillant book(!) by Zola Neale Hurston called Their eyes were watching God. (love)


And I am on the journey and so I am Praying the Traveller's prayer:


The Traveler's Prayer should be recited at the beginning of a journey,
according to the Talmud. In the prayer, the traveler asks for a safe trip.

Traveler's Prayer (from The Siddur):

"Ye-hi ra-tson mi-l'fa-ne-cha,

A-do-nai e-lo-hei-nu vei-lo-hei a-vo-tei-nu,

she-to-li-chei-nu l'sha-lom,

v'ta-tsi-dei-nu l'sha-lom,

v'tad-ri-chei-nu l'sha-lom,

v'ta-gi-ei-nu lim-choz chef-tsei-nu,

l'cha-yim ul-sim-chah ul-sha-lom.

V'ta-tsi-lei-nu mi-kaf kawl o-yeiv,

v'o-reiv v'lis-tim v'cha-yot ra-ot ba-de-rech,

u-mi-kawl mi-nei fur -a-ni-yot,

ha-mit-ra-g'shot la-vo la-o-lam.

V'tish-lach b'ra-chah b'chawl ma-a-sei ya-dei-nu,

v'ti-t'nei-nu l'chein ul-che-sed ul-ra-cha-mim b'ei-ne-cha,

uv-ei-nei chawl ro-ei-nu.

V'tish-ma kol ta-cha-nu-nei-nu,

ki Eil sho-mei-a t'fi-lah v'ta-cha-nun a-tah.

Ba-ruch a-tah A-do-nai,

sho-mei-a t'fi-lah."


Here is a translation (from Twelve Jewish Steps to Recovery):

"May it be Your will, Lord, My God and God of my ancestors, to lead me,

to direct my steps, and to support me in peace. Lead me in life,

tranquil and serene, until I arrive at where I am going. Deliver me

from every enemy, ambush and hurt that I might encounter on the way and

from all afflictions that visit and trouble the world. Bless the work

of my hands. Let me receive divine grace and those loving acts of

kindness and mercy in Your eyes and in the eyes of all those I

encounter. Listen to the voice of my appeal, for you are a God who

responds to prayerful supplication. Praised are you, Lord, who responds

to prayer."


and a short and sweet Catholic prayer:


My holy Angel Guardian,

ask the Lord to bless the journey which I undertake,

that it may profit the health of my soul and body;

that I may reach its end,

and that, returning safe and sound,

I may find my family in good health.

Do thou guard,

guide and preserve us.


Amen.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Your words inspire me and give me strength. Thank you.